I've always thought that appearing like you don't care at all would protect you from the evil of the thing called emotions. But it was just a facade and you can never run away from feelings. I also learned that facing a problem head on is better than running away or stacking them in the corner. They will continue to pile up and soon what do you get? A suicidal instinct and depression.
For the past months, besides my boy dramas, my life wasn't really at it's peak. I lost interest in everything and the lack of inspiration hit me so hard that I can't see a purpose for my life. It's just so bad. I rejected a lot of things and it was hard to stand up and to get up from that. Now, I just want my life back. I just want it to be back to the normal me.
I was a very vibrant and cheerful adolescent when I was in high school. I want to be that again and then I realize what's my real problem: I don't wanna grow up.
Which we all know that at some point we should. I'm just scared to not have everything I need as I used to. Growing up requires me working hard to attain them. I just felt that I'm not just ready to grow up yet. The responsibilities and obligations that scares me too.
But now, I think I found some will to face all of that. It's time for me to be a big girl now.
