Elliot Rodger

Santa Barbara Rampage Killer Identified as the Son of Hunger Games' Assistant Director

   I read this article today. It was..... disturbing. But yet here is another tragedy caused by society and the judgment fixed on stereotyping.

   Elliot Rodger is a suspect for killing 7 people by stabbing and shooting. He first stabbed three men in his apartment building and then proceeded to drive around the streets and shot almost everyone he saw. He did that but not after leaving his last message to humanity through this video.

   According to what I've read, Rodger had been bullied all his life and was thrown off a balcony at a party once. On some level, I can relate to him because I knew how that felt. I knew how it felt to be rejected by society and how it feels to be alone. I knew how it felt that you are not good enough to fit in. It messes with your head. You are in this place where you want to hurt yourself or you want to make a statement. And trust me, that is not a place you want to be in. I've lost interest in life and everything around me. I just don't see the purpose of everything and everyone but I realized that "How long will I be like this?".

   It's disgusting how the norms of society did this. Just because a person wasn't good enough or "too cool" then it doesn't mean that you gotta look at them like they have a contagious disease or something. Think of it. This is not gonna be the last time if the stereotype of the society is still the same. Elliot Rodger himself might be a victim just as all of us are. We are victims of the stereotyping judgmental society and the unseen caste system that has been there all along.

But of course that's an everyday thing. That's permanent. Whether we like it or not, that's the world that we're living in now and that's on us on how we take it or face it and apparently, Elliot Rodger chose the wrong way to do so.

Single??.....NOT

Remember the title of my last post? I almost did that tonight. I'm being unreasonable whatever but I was hurt. What would you feel if the person that you're in a relationship with, acts like he or she isn't in a relationship. He totally acts like he or she is single in the presence of other people? Exactly, goddamn hurt and insulted in a whole 'nother level.

Well, let's settle for he cause I'm talking about my boyfriend. This is gonna be a whole rant.

I got into a huge fight with him because he did exactly that and he tells me I'm immature and unreasonable. Then be it but I'm not gonna back down until my point is heard. Things kind of died down now but I'm still fuming. I just can't believe that he acted like he's single and there was a girl involved. I  might have been so understanding and everything if only the girl is a pure stranger but no. It was a girl that he had a past with. Pure fuckery.

Then I told him I was tired and give me time to think then he was like if you wanna be that way then no comment and I was so mad and I said fine, no relationship.

I was sooooo ready to let him go at the moment. Even though I loved him but he never gave a good enough reason why he did what he did. It's close but not a reason that could keep my feelings down. I figured out that if he wasn't man enough to declare that he's in a relationship then maybe he's not the man for me. I'm tired and I don't wanna go through all the arguing and all.

Now, he kind of won my feelings back but he didn't erase the doubt and everything else negative that I was feeling. I don't want to be in a relationship with a guy like this but I guess we can quite figure it out since he said that we're going to talk about it tomorrow.

I just hope that he has a good damn reason tomorrow and that his reason is enough for me to stay cause if not, then I guess I have to be somewhere else.

When he said I love you tonight, I answered him that I'm not sure if I can say those word to you right now. I just can't. I had to be real.

Letting Go

It has been very easy for me to let go things and people for a very long time. I always had this mindset that nothing lasts forever so why waste time holding on to something that already isn't there. Then I realized that, yes, nothing lasts forever but there's nothing wrong holding on to it. Think, how much does it or they mean to you? Are you just going to give up on them that easily above everything? Someone made me realize that there are things in life that is very hard to let go because they mean a lot and they impacted your life forever. You shouldn't give up without a fight because maybe, just maybe, that thing or someone was made to be in your life forever and fate gave you a chance to have a say in your future and you didn't make the right one.