Depressed? Bitter? Denial? Anxiety? Confused? Yes, I have all those and the thing is I know. I already know that there is no chance for the both of us and the questions I have will never be answered. My heart is shattered. I have done things that I never thought I would do to save the relationship but it all might as well went to waste.
I already accept the outcome and I already accept the fact that I will be alone for a while but of course there is anger. Anger towards myself why I begged him to stay and done crazy shit. Anger towards him for letting me hurt this way. Anger to the situation. Anger to the fact that I felt like I wasted time and I am wasting tears to someone who is just plainly not worth it.
I will not complicate life right now. I will just try to focus more on myself first and more on being successful. I am going to fix myself first until I could truly love myself until I can love someone else. That is what I will do.
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